Parallel Universe
by Lolita Sweet Heart 666
Summary: Crack!Fic   Death The Kid's Parallel Life The Kid comes down from Heaven for a visit. What happens when you put a Shinigami and a Kamichama in one room? Chaos. Kid/OC xD It's a crackfic, no flames please. Rated M for Life's unKamichama-like mouth.
1. Chapter 1

Parallel Universe : Death The Kid – Soul Eater – Death The Kid/OC CrackFic-ish

Summary : Kid's opposite from heaven shows up. CrackFic Kid/OC Read and Review.

xxXxxXxx

Chapter 1 : A fight about Symmetry

"Okay, Life-chan," Maka's father said, as Kid walked in, "Oh, Kid-kun, great timing, meet Life The Kid."

"Hello. . ." Kid said staring blankly at her. She had white hair down to her butt in an asymmetrical cut and two different coloured eyes, one white, the other black, "You should wear a black contact."

"Why? Asymmetrical is better," she said smiling. Kid twitched slightly and glared.

"Symmetry is beauty," he stated, "Anything that is asymmetrical doesn't deserve existence."

"Um. . .Kid-" Life started but Spirit cut her off.

"I wouldn't bring that up," he said, Life gave him a look but took his advice.

"Asymmetry."

"Symmetry."

"Asymmetry."

"Symmet-SPIRIT! THAT TABLE ISN'T SYMMETRICAL!" Kid shouted as he went into a fit. Though all Life heard was "wahwahwah symmetry wahwahwah."

"I like the table the way it is," Life offered nonchalantly, Kid turned and glared at him.

"What did you say?" he hissed.

"I said," Life started and got in his face, "I. Like. Said. Table. The. Way. It. Is. Now. In fact, I like it _a lot_."

"But the leg, it's offset!" Kid shouted pointing to the table leg, "It's hideous!"

"Hey! Tables have feelings too! It's only like a billionth of a centimetre off!"

"It's not SYMMETRICAL!" at thispoint Spirit just slipped out of the room unnoticed.

"It doesn't have to be symmetrical!"

"Grrrrrrr. . ."

"Is there anything you do like?" Life asked whipping out a random photo album and turning it to a picture of a clown, "Like CLOWNS? Or KITTENS? Or YOUR DICK?"

"What the hell?" Kid said shocked.

"What. . .I have yet to meet a man who likes his dick, for my father's sake."

"What. . .?"

"I'm the Daughter of Life, The Daughter of GOD! Jeez, you're not very smart are you?" Life snickered a playful glint entering her gaze, "I doubt you even know where babies come from."

"Oh?" Kid said and tackled her to the ground, "You Asymmetrical piece of garbage! You think you can belittle me?"

"So, you gonna show me where babies come from? Our fathers would have a fit," she laughed, her smile never faded.

"You're really a bitch, you know that?"

"Gasp! You swore at me! To hell with you, you little cunt fuck!" Life laughed, Kid's eye twitched.

"Shut up," he said as she continued laughing, his eye twitching more rapidly. Life put hier finger under his chin and tilted his head up.

"Got a twitch? Is it Tourette's?" she asked, "Maybe Parkinson's. Or maybe too much _symmetry._"

"Symmetry is beauty!"

"For a Shinigami you sure are obsessive about asthetic appeal," Life stated.

"For a Kami you sure are argumentive," Kid retorted coldly, Life snickered again, "What?"

"What made you think putting a Shinigami and a Kami in one room with no supervision wouldn't start a fight? And you really aren't all that smart."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Kid shouted, Life stared at him blankly, and for one second, he could almost see himself in her stare.

"I am your opposite, little meister," Life snickered, "I am your parallel!" Kid almost coughed up blood, this asymmetrical abomination was his parallel.

"You are an abomination, you are_ asymmetrical!_"

"SO ARE YOU! LOOK AT YOUR FREAKING HAIR!" Life shouted, sniggering as Kid slumped into a depression.

"I DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE!" Kid wailed, Life laughed and walked away. [A/N : Yeah, Life-chan, leave the depressed kid alone, how nice of you. Life : Haha. . .]

xxXxxXxx

Next Day [Life Ditched him, there's nothing more I really need to say right now]

xxXxxXxx

"Hey, Kid," Life said walking into the classroom.

"Oh, she dropped the honorific," Soul snickered, "Kid's got a girlfriend."

"You, with the grey-white-silver hair," Life said, "Shut the fuck up."

"Life, what do you want?" Kid asked standing up, Life walked over to him and threw something on the table, "What is that?"

"Food, I figured you deserved something special after our conversation last night," Life said narrowing her eyes. Kid let out a wail, she smiled and stalked out of the classroom. As she left the school her father appeared behind her.

"Life. . .sometimes I secretly think, Shinigami-san is your father."

"What. . .?"

"Well, you do act more like a Shinigami than a Kami…"

"Then you must be Kid's father-oh thanks dad, I have new ammo now! Baibai!" she said and ran off. He sighed and went back up to heaven, watching his daughter closely.

When Kid got home, Life was sitting on the floor playing with some cards.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing you need to know about, Stripes," Life responded blankly. Kid fell into another depression and slunk off to his emo corner.

"An unsymmetrical guy like me shouldn't live," he whined.

"The correct word is 'asymmetrical'," Life said not looking from her cards.

"I'm trash," he muttered, Life turned to stare at him.

"Shut up, and quit being so emo you little jackass," she said blankly, "Or I'll personally damn you to hell."

"Oh shut up, 'Kami-chama'," Kid said glaring at her.

"Make me," Life whispered in his ear, and walked away. When she reached the stairs, she turned and stared at him, "Do you know where babies come from?" she asked, then walked up the stairs.

**Weird ending, but I like it. No flames, this is my first fic, nyan. I had the weirdest idea to write a crack fic, and so I started one, now I'm working on this one, and I figured "Why not make it into a real fic?" so I argued with myself and I'm trying to finish it. It's Death The Kid/Life The Kid (OC), so if you don't like it, don't continue reading it. It probably sucks, but there will be more provoking of Kid and Life. Hahaha. *walks away* FLAMES WILL BE USED TO TOAST KID'S ASYMMETRICAL DEMENTED BUNNY WAFFLES! (Next chapter will explain that .)**


	2. Chapter 2

Parallel Universe : Death The Kid – Soul Eater – Death The Kid/OC CrackFic-ish

Summary : Kid's opposite from heaven shows up. CrackFic Kid/OC Read and Review.

xxXxxXxx

Chapter 2 : Let The War Begin

xxXxxXxx

"Oh, Stripes!" Life sang as she shook him awake, "You're gonna be late for school~!"

"Be quiet, Life, what time is it anyway?"

"It's after noon!" Life said in her "OMG" voice.

"WHAT?" Kid shouted and practically flew out of bed and into his looked at the clock in his room.

12:15 PM

He ran down stairs to find waffles shaped like deformed bunnies and a note.

Stripes,

Haha, the fact that your reading this means I pulled the wool over your eyes. Look out side. The real time is on the clock in the kitchen.

[Life]

He looked at the clock.

5:30 AM

"SHIT!" He cussed, then looked at the deformed bunnies, which had 'Asymmetrical' written across them in yellow icing.

Life walked into the kitchen at 7:00 to see Kid messing with the Asymmetrical Demented Bunny Waffles, she snickered.

"So, how's the quest to make my Asymmetrical Demented Bunny Waffles looks Symmetrical going?" she asked leaning over his shoulder, from the looks of it, not too well.

"Die."

"Why not just cut them into squares? Or just eat them. Jesus Christ, Kid."

"Shut up."

"Good bye, Stripes. I'm going back to bed. Oh, by the way, it's Saturday."

"DAMN IT!"

"Life : 2, Kid : 0," Life laughed and went back upstairs. Kid glared after her.

Life came back down stairs to find Kid asleep in the now severely mauled waffles. She sat down in the chair next to him and watched him sleep. He finally lifted his head, Life took out a camera and snapped a picture. Kid jumped up and attacked her, she ran, he followed. Finally he had her cornered.

"Fine, take the camera," Life said handing him the camera, "It's a Polaroid anyway. Don't worry I'll send you a copy."

_Let The War Begin_

Life set down Kid's lunch on the table, he smirked at her wet, black streaked hair.

"I hate you," she said bluntly.

"What did I do?"

"You put Honey in my shampoo, and black hair dye in my conditioner," she said.

"What makes you think that?" he asked feigning innocence, and eating the food, "By the way, nice. . .whatever this is."

"It's meat pie," she said rolling her eyes, "And it's okay that you pulled your immature prank on me, I'm not mad."

"You aren't?" Kid asked, as he finished the meat pie and iced tea. Life laughed from the doorway.

"The filling in the meat pie, I puked in it. And the iced tea, that was watered down motor oil and sugar."

"WHA-BLEGH!" Kid shouted attempting to spit everything out, it didn't quite work. Life left the room.

_Kid's P.o.V_

That BITCH! But I'll get her back, and I'll come back ten fold!

Life stormed into the room holding her iPod and her cellphone.

"KID!" she shrieked, I just stared at her. She leaned over and got in my face, "You wiped the memory of my iPod and cell phone, didn't you?"

"You're missing something," I responded.

"Oh, hell no," Life said and ran up to her room, I heard a crash then everything went silent. She must've turned on her computer.

_Third Person P.o.V_

Over the next few weeks, various pranks were pulled on Life and Kid. Such as sawdust in Kid's bed, cutting the electricity to Life's room, and even the old hand in water trick.

Life and Kid met in the hall between their room, both looked pissed beyond words, and it was only 2:30 AM, way too early for them to be provoking each other.

"I HATE YOU!" they shouted at the same time, Life's eyes traveled over Kid's body.

"I see the hand in water trick worked," Life snickered. Kid stared at her pyjamas and smiled.

"I see putting glue on your blankets worked," he said, Life twitched.

"I hate you."

"I hate you more."

"I hate you more than you could imagine." She said narrowing her eyes, she didn't mean it. But she was a damn good actress.

"I hate you more than there are particles in Death City."

"I hate you more than there are particles in the universe."

"There aren't words to describe how much I hate you," Kid said, he meant it about as much as Life had, he still didn't like her, she was bitchy, cunning, ruthless, arrogant, adorable. . .wait where'd that come from? She'd already left, Kid sighed and went to change, as she probably had.

**Hehehe. . .Okay this was chapter two of my psychotic crackfic ^^ It's fun to write. No flames, FLAMES WILL BE USED TO LIGHT LIFE'S CIGARETTE (Explained in the next chapter .)**

**Kid : Why are you shouting?**

**Life : Bekause she wants to.**

**Kid : You spelt 'because' wrong.**

**Life : I know, I also happen to know-**

**Me : Shut up both of you, you argue like a married couple.**


	3. Chapter 3

Parallel Universe : Death The Kid – Soul Eater – Death The Kid/OC CrackFic-ish

Summary : Kid's opposite from heaven shows up. CrackFic Kid/OC Read and Review.

xxXxxXxx

Chapter 3 : Cease-fire

xxXxxXxx

"KID! LIFE!" Shinigami-sama roared, both of them shuffled into his office.

"Yes?" they asked, knowing fully well why they were there.

"What is wrong with you two? Buckets of . . . suspicious liquids? Demented Bunny Waffles? Glue on blankets?"

"Sorry, Shinigami-sama," Life said sheepishly, "We were just having fun with a little prank war, we've learned our lesson."

"I don't think you have," Shinigami-sama said, Life opened her mouth but was cut off, "SHINIGAMI CHOP!"

"Oww!" Both kids fell to the floor holding their heads.

"Now you've learned your lesson, get lost now, I have work."

"Sorry, for wasting your time-"

"Wait, I thought of something else, Kid, Life, for the next two weeks, you'll be best friends, you will do everything together, at the end of the first week you will go up to heaven, and spend the second week there."

"No," both of them said at the same time.

"Too bad it's settled."

"But-"

"SHINIGAMI CHOP!"

"Ow. . ."

xxXxxXxx

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . ."

"Life, wake up. . ." Liz muttered shaking Life.

"Get up, Life!" Patti shouted, Stein turned around.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Life said not taking her head off the desk. She'd have to suffer meister school, she wasn't even a meister.

Patti, Liz, Life and Kid were all walking home, Life and Kid refused to talk to each other and just looked the other direction.

"So. . ." Liz said, trying to break the awkward silence.

"THAT SIGN ISN'T CENTERED!" Kid shouted and ran to fix the sign.

"WHO CARES?"

"I DO! EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT IN MY FATHER'S CITY!"

"DROP DEAD!"

"You guys. . .if you want this to work out you have to try to get along," Liz sighed, but Life had already gone ahead in a huff, "Ya know, putting a Shinigami and a Kami together for two weeks has to be among the worst decisions ever."

"But Life-chan is so AWESOME! But someday she'll sprout angel wings and fly up back to heaven and then Kid will laugh like a crazy person but inside-"

"Patti, you're making about as much sense as a three headed, flying, donkey with dragon scales and gills," Life sighed.

"I want one as a pet! I'll hug him and love him-"

"Patti, they don't exist," Kid said coming back from fixing the sign.

"Then can I have a giraffe?"

"Maybe," Liz sighed and the group continued on their way.

A spoon flew across the room, followed by a bow of chowder, Kid ducked and it hit the floor.

"I hope you guys know who will be cleaning this up," Liz said and grabbed Patti and walked out. There was stuff everywhere.

"Wow, to think this mess was all over the tablecloth," Life laughed looking around and grabbed two sponges, throwing one and hitting Kid square in the face, "Win."

The two began cleaning the room from top to bottom, Life was on her hands and knees scrubbing chowder and rice off the floor while Kid washed all the counter tops and the walls. It was eeriely silent, but both were enjoying the silence, it was peaceful.

"Kid," Life broke the silence, after they were done, "You missed a spot."

"Where?" Kid panicked, Life lit a cigarette and burned his neck slightly, he jumped a little but glared at her when she moved away and put out the cigarette.

"There," she laughed and walked out but was hit by a sponge.

"You missed a spot," Kid said smugly pointing to the soap in her hair. Life picked up the sponge and chucked it back at him, he dodged it.

"Well, it's almost eight, I should go get ready for bed."

"You don't go to bed until ten on a school night."

". . .I start my night time routine at eight. . .you didn't think white was my natural hair colour did you?"

"Um. . . the dye is very convincing."

"Haha! That's crazy! White's not a natural hair colour! At least until you get old and the pigment fade-" she cut herself off seeing the look on Kid's face, "Oh, sorry."

". . ."

". . ."

". . ."

"I'm gonna leave now," Life said and slipped out of the room.

**That was chapter 3 ^^. Kid and Life actually did something together without killing each other, then again, they didn't say anything. . .**

**Kid : SHUT UP! **

**Life : Yeah! I'm planning on killing him later anyway!**

**Kid : That's not nice! You're my girlfriend!**

**Life : Says who?**

**Kid : Says me, and the authoress of the crackfic!**

**Life : . . .I kill him in the end, right?**

**Me : Um. . .no. FLAMES WILL BE USED TO –**

**Life : Burn the Vodka?**

**Me : SURE! (Will be explained in the next chapter .)**


End file.
